Navigating life in your 20s

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raphael-tamakloe
26 Mar 2021

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Navigating life in your 20s

This title is a little deceptive because in actuality there's no right or wrong answer when discussing this but let me draw on some points that i think would be of great help. So, lets set the scene you're 20 years old you're having a whale of a time, you're about to finish your first degree and the world of work is ahead of you, you're all gung- ho and motivated and before you know it you are 25 years old and don't know what to do with your life. Don't worry everyone's been there. The main reason why the 20's can be such a difficult season is because it's transitional by nature, you're for the most part coming out of that season where you depend on your parents for essentially everything, and you are now having to depend on yourself for a Job, having to learn about things like savings, mortgages, ah, here's one; marriage, all of these responsibilities when piled upon an individual can be daunting to tackle, especially when just a few odd years ago your biggest concerns were essentially break-time and exams. The 20s have this new job feel, (you know what I mean) when you start a new job many of the ways the company is ran will take a  great deal of getting used to at first. You'll obviously get nervous because you don't want to make any bad decisions, you don't want to get fired, you want to do your job well but like everything in life  adjusting to this takes time. Adjusting to your 20s, more specifically adulthood takes time. Make all the mistakes you need to make provided you learn from them. By the time you reach 35 you will feel more established you'll see that life makes more sense. With this newly acquired step into adulthood it can be so frightening because  the world's ahead of you, what move is the right one? Everything seems like such a mess, you may be constantly asking yourself, am I making the right decision? It doesn't matter take risks, make the mistake, move on and forgive yourself and whoever it is that hurts you along the way. I assure you that as you grow older it'll all make sense soon enough. There is a beauty in failure and confusion that I feel people should embrace more often. In obscurity there is defo a way forward and it comes by taking the first step which brings me to my first point about something you should probably try in your 20s.

TAKE THE FIRST STEP:
There is no right or wrong way to do this adulting thing we are all still learning. Take a step whether its applying for a Job you feel unqualified for, or asking out that person you've been eyeing up, take risks. Naturally speaking I'm very reserved and introverted but one thing I decided was naturally I may be more inclined to deep thought and times by myself but that's not going to stop me from doing whatever I need to do to get ahead. I may be more quiet in public but I'm not a mouse. Yes, with risks you may fail but you also may succeed. Don't walk away from a potential success because you're too scared of failure, TAKE THE FIRST STEP! It's just like the Jordin Sparks song 'just take one step at a time, there's no need to rush, it's like learning to fly or falling in love, it's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen and we find the reasons why, one step at a time,'
You learn from every step you take in hope and in faith. Don't allow fear or that jarring voice in your head to stop you from passing up potentially great opportunities. Every mistake, and every first step is one step closer to a much more fulfilling you.

IF YOU AREN'T DECONSTRUCTING YOU AREN'T GROWING:
Listen nobody is saying that you have to have this thing down to a pat but at least let life experiences teach you something new because you aren't maximising life if you aren't learning anything new, if the same way you viewed life at 16 is the same way you view life at 28 then you may be growing in age but not necessarily in wisdom and the true test of growth is the accumulation of wisdom, not size and not the adding on of years. Wisdom should be increasing in you every year, nah bun that, every day. It's not every day net-flix sometimes read a book, broaden your intellectual horizons, learn about business, finance, multiple streams of Income, learn about ways you can become more masterful in  your specific talent or God-given craft. Come up with witty ideas, disprove ingrained ideologies you had maybe about life or society, basically learn something useful that you can  pass on to your children one day. Every bit of new information you learn contributes to a much brighter tomorrow, remember that. Knowledge is Power, remember that also.

LIVE IN THE MOMENT:
Yesterday is History, tomorrow's a mystery, today's a gift and this is why we call it the present. The way social media is set up is it makes you compare, it makes you think why am I not further along yet? Don't look at other people's journey we are all different people on different paths. Follow your own path, comparison robs you of that, and it robs you of where you are now, live in that moment so what you don't have your own house you live in one don't you, for now be content with that. Yeah, that instagram couple looks pretty good together but be content with the fact you're healthy and in your right mind stop thinking about the future so much and savour today. Human beings often have this horrible habit of not just being in the moment. Childhood specifically makes me think about this. Often times you ask a child his/her age if you pay close attention the child will say the age up. I'm 9...in three weeks. I'm 12...next month. It's never just I'm 8 years old, It's never just I'm 11 years old and its because very early on we learn that the proverbial grass; if you will, is greener on the other side and this is literally a joy killer. LEARN TO ENJOY THE SEASON YOU'RE IN! Because one day you'll miss this very season.

FORGIVE YOURSELF:
Forgive yourself, in life you are going to make mistakes, dwelling on it, beating yourself and crying over the spilt milk of yesterday isn't going to help you get over your mistakes. Live, learn, progress. You did that thing wrong don't entertain the neurotic part of you think about how you can approach that situation and just do better. Don't punish yourself by constantly mulling over it, how's that gonna help? In your 20s you are going to make mistakes but don't let a mistake you made at 21 cripple you until you reach your 30s. Move on man! Bigger and better things are ahead if you'll press on rather than looking back at what failed.

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